Hope for Health

I have never known my husband as a healthy person. And I don’t mean eats salad and works out healthy. I mean not sickly. He fakes it well, but he literally never feels good.

When I met him, Neil had just begun to have some issues with his health. He couldn’t eat without being ill.  During the 4 months that we were getting to know each other before we became official, he lost nearly 50 lbs. The issue continued after we began dating. Test after test, and procedure after procedure. Why didn’t he feel good? Why couldn’t he eat? It was frustrating and heartbreaking that we couldn’t get any answers.

It’s been two years since we met. He hasn’t gained much of the weight back. He can eat without vomiting, but he’s still got some health issues and we have been at a loss for what to do. He hasn’t had insurance, and we haven’t had money. We spent thousands the first time around trying to find a diagnosis that never came. We have been discouraged, to say the least.

*We did find the bright side in it, though. Neil has always said he knew I loved him because I started dating him at his worst. And, all the quiet dates at home on the couch because he didn’t feel well enough to go out gave us a lot of quality time. It’s that time that allowed us to get married less than a year after we began dating and not have any doubts. In that sense, I’m thankful.*

Tonight, we went to a clinic in town. Neil had the flu last week (I told him to get a flu shot, but no..), but some of the symptoms have lingered and gotten worse in the last couple days. The doctor was also interested in some of the things in his medical history. In fact, she gave us a possible diagnosis.

I am fully aware that she may be wrong. We won’t know until we see what the medicine does. But the fact that someone is trying something to make him better, gives me so much hope. We will do anything. I love my husband how he is – that’s all I’ve known. But he knows there is a better life available to him, and that is heartbreaking to see. When we first started dating, he would talk about how much he loved to be outside and that he wanted us to go play basketball once he started feeling better. He was hopeful then. But, time has taken its toll. He needs hope back. We need that basketball game.

We are beyond blessed. There is much worse that we could be dealing with, but this is a struggle for us. Please send up prayers that Neil will know what healthy feels like again soon.

 

Food Poisoning

My experience with food poisoning = miserable.

Oh, did I mention that it happened during finals week? Yeah..

Sunday afternoon – I feel fine
Sunday evening – My tummy hurts a little
Sunday night – I might as well just camp out next to the toilet

On Monday morning, Neil was at work so I sent Laura a very pitiful text asking for sprite and Pepto. She came right over, and didn’t even comment on how stinky and gross I know I was. What a friend!
Unfortunately, those things didn’t do the trick, so my wonderful mommy took me to the student health center. There, I got to get blood drawn (which I HATE) and an IV to help with dehydration. Make that TWO IV’s because I was lucky enough to blow a vein on the first one.

So, I lay in a bed with an IV for 4 hours. Neil comes just in time for them to give me some serious drugs. Poor guy sat next to the bed for 2 hours while I was knocked out cold. (Those drugs basically kept me knocked out until Tuesday morning, which, I have to admit, was amazing)

On the bright side, Neil is a wonderful caregiver. He took me home, got me in bed, kept the dogs from jumping on my face, and then went to get my prescriptions and crackers and jello. I was only awake for about an hour that night, but he continued to wait on me hand and foot.

Tuesday morning felt like heaven. Not feeling nauseas is not something to take for granted! I got my blood drawn one more time and I was good to go! Well, it took a couple days to be able to eat normally again, but that was a (figurative) piece of cake.

Thanks to some pretty awesome people in my life and the student health center, I made it through the rest of finals week without a scratch!

 

Another Pup!

A couple months ago, as an early birthday present for me, we got a new puppy.  His name is Hiccup and I love him.

 Tiko didn’t love him at first. In fact, his “welcome to the family” was a swift bite in the face. But, things have gotten much better since then. Tiko would never admit it, (mostly because he can’t talk) but I think he likes his annoying little brother now. And, boy, does Hiccup adore Tiko! 

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There are still some kinks to work out – like the fact that he flat out REFUSES to be potty trained. None the less, I have full faith in the little guy. I’m already crazy about him, so he’s got it made.  It’s hard to be mad at something so stinkin’ cute! (I have the same problem with Neil..)

I mean, really. How can you stay mad at that?!

 

If my children are as cute as my dogs, (and c’mon, they’ll be pretty darn cute) they will have me wrapped around their little fingers. Sigh.

 

 

Comfortable

I love comfort. Good ole worn in jeans and a t-shirt. Lounging on the couch with Neil and Tiko watching TV. Laying in bed late on a Saturday morning.  Walking barefoot through freshly cut grass.

I am all about comfort.
The best comfort in my life is my marriage.  My own new family. (Tiko is our son after all.)

I tend to be a shy person before I get to know someone.  After though, it’s a very different story.  I’m a bit silly, a bit weird, and a bit of a jokester.
Because of my shyness, though, I never imagined being as close to someone as I am with my husband.  I’d always dreamed of the love I’d share with my future husband, the movie nights we’d have on the couch.  But I could never have fathomed how comfortable I would be with him.

There is nothing I can not talk to Neil about.  Nothing.  And it never fails that he makes me feel better.  With a few loving words and the best hugs in the world, he knows how to calm my heart and my mind.  More than that, I am completely comfortable being weird with Neil.  I never knew how weird I was until I got married.  Whether it’s a ridiculous dance, a quick rap, or some very bad singing, I am not shy or ashamed.  I love it.  I could pick my nose in front of him.  Or fart.  Or scratch my armpit.  Of course, I do none of those things, ever, because I’m a lady.

It’s been nearly a year since Neil and I got engaged.
It’s been nearly 6 months since we married.
And it’s been only a year and a half since we had our first date.
Heck, it’s only been a year and 9 months since we met.

Yet, I have never, nor will I ever be, more comfortable with anyone else.  It is an enormous blessing to have a husband with who I can be serious, silly, dumb, gross, hurt, lost, joyous and every other possible emotion with.

I am so lucky, so blessed, to have found someone I am completely comfortable with.
Even more blessed that that person is the love of my life
I may look back in 20 years and give a little laugh to the fact that I thought I knew true comfort as a newlywed.
Here’s to a life of never being comfortable with the amount of comfort in my marriage.

 

Goodnight Kiss

Neil and I have a rule…no matter what has happened during the day, whether we laughed, cried or fought, we always kiss each other goodnight and say “I love you.”  No matter what.

It’s especially helpful for me.  I’m the kind of person who can’t turn her mind off.  Despite my best efforts, I am a worrier.  I lay in bed and my mind keeps racing.  If we got into an argument that day, I replay it over and over in my head.  Even when there is absolutely no point in worrying, which is most of the time, I find something to worry about.  But that’s getting off track…

We’ve been married for four months, and it’s already gotten to the point where that goodnight kiss and “I love you” calms my mind.  I’m gonna be honest, there are still nights when my mind keeps racing.  I keep going over whatever minute worry my mind latches on to.  But those nights are getting fewer and farther between.  While there are many reasons for that, the one I love the most is our rule.

Last night, we had our now normal routine: kiss goodnight, say “I love you” (often more than once) and roll over to sleep.  But I lay there for a bit longer and what popped into my mind was our life.  It was a feeling more than an image, but I saw our future.  In a split second I felt the happiness of our future children and of being the old married couple that sits on a swing on their front porch every night holding hands and laughing while everyone wonders how in the world they still have things to laugh about after that long.

I can hardly explain it, so it makes no sense that I’m making a whole blog post about it, but it came so out of nowhere, and felt so complete that I just couldn’t keep it to myself.  All I could do was smile and embrace the warmth that the thought of an entire lifetime with Neil, with my husband, brings.

Here’s to a lifetime of goodnight kisses.

 

Enjoying the Ride

I’ve been a terrible blogger. 4 months without a post is shameful. But here I am again.

Obviously, I got married. It’s been quite a ride already. A lot of learning, a lot of laughing, a few arguments, but always a blessing.

Neil and I have moved…twice. Our first home was a duplex in a sketchy part of town. Little did we know we’d have unwanted roommates…ROACHES! It was disgusting. We could never feel clean, even freshly bathed. We stuck that out for a couple months, and then were lucky enough to get into our first choice of apartment complexes in town. We have loved it. Especially me. I love how clean it looks and feels. This place feels like home. I think we’ve (I’ve) finally got it arranged like I want it, so pictures will come soon.

Tiki, our puppy, is doing well in his new home, with his new dad. They have bonded a lot, to my surprise. Tiki even chooses to cuddle with Neil instead of me most of the time (That only kind of hurts my feelings).

Before we were married, Neil and I disagreed on where Tiki would be sleeping. As long as I had him, he slept in bed with me, but Neil did not like that idea one bit. I finally got him to say Tiki could sleep with us occasionally.
There has not been a night since we’ve been married that Tiki hasn’t slept with us. Tiki chooses to sleep at Neil’s side instead of mine 9 times out of 10, and I think Neil likes it. I consider it my greatest victory.

I am going to try very hard not to have another 4 month dry spell. Here’s to hoping I can become a regular blogger!

 

An Orvin No More

I’m getting married in 12 1/2 hours.

I’ve slacked off on my blog…being busy with wedding plans and school. I’d hoped to have our whole dating story blogged by the wedding day.  Unfortunately, I didn’t even get to the first date and I walk down the aisle in mere hours.

Anyway, today is the day. I’m so dang excited.
Stressed and tired, sore feet and sore eyes, but so ready.
It never felt real until the rehearsal dinner. Even now, it hasn’t completely sunken in.

I look forward to letting it sink in tomorrow night, so I can lay in awe with Neil, my HUSBAND.

G’night, world.

- Jordan Orvin (for the last time!)

 

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

It was a bit of a slow start once we got back from Panama City. We talked on Skype a lot. The first thing I’d do when I logged on was check to see if he was online, too. (I was his only friend on Skype for a very long time, so obviously he was just as intent on talking to me.) We built a solid friendship through that, and what turned out to be an even more solid foundation for a relationship.

Unfortunately, I had boys to kick out of my life before I could let Neil in. And, more unfortunately, it was not an easy, nor a quick, process. I’ll try to break this down quickly and easily, though, using only the bare essentials.

I had an old flame from high school, a blind date that had quickly fallen for me, and the token bad boy that I used to work with. Blind date guy was nice enough, but I just didn’t feel it, and it was difficult to get him to understand that. (I’m awful at hurting people’s feelings.) I really wanted nothing to do with the bad boy, either, but his ego kept him from understanding that. It’s the high school flame that got in the way. Pesky lingering feelings I hadn’t been able to let go of over the years, despite his jerk-ness.

So, Neil comes along, looking like an angel in comparison. (Honestly, that’s what he is.) But I was so exhausted from the others that I didn’t think I could do it. I’d even read a book called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” See how serious I was?

I know, I know. I said I planned on falling in love in Panama City. But, I hadn’t planned on all the rest. So, I tried not to like Neil. Really, I did. But he made me laugh. He was easy to talk to. I wanted to talk to him every chance I could. And I did. Not liking Neil did not work, not one bit. I’m so thankful it didn’t.

It took a little while after that, but I got rid of the jerks. Neil made it easier. He was patient with me, he waited. He understood. He was perfect.

He still is.

Now that that’s out of the way.
To be continued..

 

The Meeting

To be honest, the title of this post is a bit misleading. Neil and I never really met. Before you assume I’m crazy, let me explain.

Neil and I were both part of the same college church group. We saw each other every Wednesday night. Did we ever talk? No. But we knew who the other was.

Technically, we “knew” each other long before that, though. He was the best friend of a guy I went to youth group with, and I remembered seeing him at church periodically.
In fact, we went to summer church camp together one year. I was about to start high school; he was about to start college. Needless to say, the attraction didn’t start back then.

Fast forward a bit… In January of 2008, the college group went to Panama City for Gulf Coast Getaway, but I wasn’t able to join. On that trip, a friend of mine met a boy. Once they got back, he pursued her and, long story short, they got married this past Saturday.
January 2009 rolls around, and I decided to go. I also decided to fall in love. I joked with my friend Laura that it was my turn to fall in love on the trip. I also joked that Neil would be the one I found love with. So, you see, I picked him before we’d really met.

I wanted to get to know Neil. So I did. At some point on the trip, I sat by him, and we talked. I don’t remember what about. I do know there was never an introduction, we just chatted like we’d done it many time before.

Neil told me later that one of his goals for the Panama City trip was to get to know me. Coincidence? Not even a little bit.

So, that’s how we “met”. That’s where it started.

It didn’t go entirely smoothly after that, though. I had a few boys to get out of my life before Neil could come in to stay (I know that sounds vain, but believe me it was much more annoying than it was flattering), but that’s the story for next time.

 

The Other Love of My Life

Before I fill you in on my relationship with Neil, let me introduce you to the other love of my life, Tiki.

 

He is my barking, chewer-uping, biting (though only when it comes to Neil), stubborn, clever, hyper, adorable little dog.

He is terribly behaved, and I take full responsibility for it. He drives me absolutely crazy half the time and makes my heart melt the other half.

I love this dog.

 

Neil and Tiki have a love/hate relationship. Tiki is jealous. I have my suspicions that Neil is, too.

Some days Tiki will curl up and sleep on Neil’s lap for hours. Other days he bites. Never me, only Neil.

Neil “jokes” that if he had been iffy about his feelings for me when he met Tiki, there’s no way he would’ve stuck around.

He claims to love him now, but I know he says it only for my sake.

(One reason I love Neil so much.)

So there he is. The previous love of my life. Of course, he’s my number 2 man now, but I still love the little terror a whole lot.